Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
