I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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