His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
