Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I could fuck to npr.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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