you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
