she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
