I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
