I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
