Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
