For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
