my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
