i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
