You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
