I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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