I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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