it was like eating out sand paper
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
