i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
