careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
