Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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