I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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