census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
