Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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