He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's blow job season.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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