would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
