just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just high enough for therapy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm always down for nudity.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
