Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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