He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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