My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
