At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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