He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
