they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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