Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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