i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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