they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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