Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
