Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
