i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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