my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
