sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
