then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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