North Korea, Best Korea!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
