next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
