I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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