Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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