No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
