With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
