I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
