So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You are a genius and a whore.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
