only if we run a train.
done.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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