We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
