You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
