Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
