after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
3pm strippers are depressing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
