The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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