I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
